A new entry on the Must-Read list...

A former editor at Maxim has a new book out. In a Newsday article about the book, they use the following as their first paragraph:

In the years following his 1998 college graduation, Dave Itzkoff got high at work, snorted cocaine, attempted to smoke a substance that may or may not have been crack cocaine, took Ecstasy at a co-worker's wedding and groped his boss' wife on the dance floor, watched a substantial amount of porn, had sex with a prostitute, attended a boozy bachelor weekend in New Orleans, crashed a golf cart during an equally alcohol-infused week in Jamaica, and called a woman a truly horrible four letter word when she confronted him about the damaged golf cart.

Sounds like the pinnacle of literature. You can bet next week's paycheck that I'll be reading this...

I want a 'Fat Darrell!'

The nation's best sandwich.



Chicken fingers, mozzarella sticks and french fries, all on one sandwich. I want one!

The Makings of a Trend...

It seems there is another Booze/Bear story. This bear snuck into people's coolers and stole beer. This is the kicker:

"He drank the Rainier and wouldn't drink the Busch beer," said Lisa Broxson..

This bear has a more sophisticated palette than I do.

Full Story: http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/186757_beerbear18.html

Uncle Rory Sticks It to the Man...

Show'em who's boss...

Nurses. Rulers. Nightclubs. Drunks. Sounds troubling...

Pretty wierd article about the size of the average Snausage. First, the method they used to get these figures was...unique. It involved a "private tent" outside a nightclub, "girlie magazine" and "two nurses." Not bad. But the best is the graphic, which presumably illustrates how big the average man-stick is:



So, basically, I'm bigger than some candy bars. Take that, Bit O'Honey!!

Um.....what?

Pretty lame story, but you have to love a quote like this:

Committee member Richard Read said: “If the rabbit did die, he’s probably chewing a carrot in heaven.”

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2004372189,00.html

W. throws a suckerpunch...

Frat-boy Bush punching a Rugby opponent during his ol' Yale days. Classic...

http://sportsbybrooks.com/georgebushrugbypunch.html

The long-awaited answer...

So after a recent conversation about Ocean's Eleven (the remake), a question came up regarding the scene where Brad Pitt rattles off what they would need to pull off the job. Here's the quote:

Off the top of my head, I'd say you're looking at a Boesky, a Jim Brown, a Miss Daisy, two Jethros and a Leon Spinks, not to mention the biggest Ella Fitzgerald... ever!

After doing some research, (mostly found here) they break down as:

"The drivers are Virgil and Turk Malloy (Casey Affleck, Scott Caan) and this makes me think that they are actually the Jethros (because they come from Utah and they aren't exactly the brightest guys ever - aka Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies)."

"I also suspect that the Boesky is Reuben Tishkoff (Elliott Gould) after Ivan Boesky, disgraced Wall Street inside trader. Tishkoff, like Boesky knew the insides and workings of a casino, and had plenty of money to sink into pulling off the heist.

"I'm also thinking that the Leon Spinks is Basher Tarr (Don Cheadle) after Leon Spinks the [African American] boxer who defeated Mohammed Ali. Basher is the one who delivers the "knockout punch" with the electromagnetic pulse generator that takes out the city's power supply."

" We already know that the Grease Man is The Incredible Yen (Shaobo Qin), because Ocean and Ryan say it when they are scoping him out.

As for the others, Jim Brown mostly likely means James Brown, meaning they need a black guy (Bernie Mac.) And Ella Fitzgerald could be a reference to playing the piano, meaning light-fingered, referring to the pickpocket (Matt Damon.) Seems like a bit of a stretch, but makes sense....

Yogi gets sloshed...

A bear after my own heart. Unable to find Barenjager, he goes for the next best thing...

(Pretty sure that the bear depicted on the Barenjager page is the same bear that stole the boozey fruit...)

http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/articles/0811bear-brewery-ON.html

Angela! Mona! Samantha!

The career of Tony Danza baffles me. Who would choose to give this man a day time talk show? (Also, all the women on Who's The Boss? had names that ended with an 'A', and Mr. Danza would always yell them in his comical Brooklyn-ese. I wonder if they planned it that way...)

http://tvplex.go.com/buenavista/tonydanza/

This Year's Tickle-Me-Elmo

http://www.downsyndromedolls.com/Christina.html

A fun and thoughtful gift that honors the Corky in all of us. A great companion gift to the Speak'N'Spell: Autistic Edition...